Archive for November, 2008

Our Choices in life Determine the Decisions We Make

Let me explain it this way. Life is like a road. And just like any road there are corners, detours, and crossroads. In life the most perplexing road that you would ever encounter is a crossroad. With four choices to choose from and with limited knowledge on where they all lead, which road should (and will) you take. What decision would you make?

And after you have made your decision what guarantee do you have that you have chosen the right road? Would you take any road, or just stay where you are: in front of a crossroad?

The secret to a fulfilling life is the make a decision from the four choices that the crossroads present to you. That is the key.

What guarantee do you have that you have made the right decision?

You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it. There are no guarantees. This is one of the most important things you need to realize about life. Nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time would always lead you to happiness.

Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would be returned. Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness. Accepting a good word from an influential superior to cut your trip short up the career ladder is not always bad, especially if you are highly qualified and competent. There are too many possible outcomes, which you really cannot control. The only thing you have power over is the decisions that you will make, and how you would act and react to every situation.

If its wrong it is right.

Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have made the decision? Perhaps not, why would you choose a certain road in life when you know that it will get you lost? Why would you make a decision if you knew from the very beginning that it is not right for you. It is only after you have made a decision and reflected on it that you ever realize the soundness of your decision.

If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly. On the other hand if your decision turned out wrong at the time you have made a choice, therefore your decision was right. You have learn’t another way, gain another experience, learn’t another lesson from life.

Always be decisive and make decisions freely.

Since life offers no guarantee and you never know at the time that your decision could be be wrong until after you have made it, then you need to take the risk and decide then and there. It is definitely better to make a decision than keep yourself in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you lost, it could also be true that the next decision you make could turn out to be an opportunity of a life time, with more open roads to choose from. It is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost traveler or being a  tourist of life. But take caution that you do not make decisions haphazardly. Taking risks is not about being careless and stupid.

Here are some pointers that could help you choose the best option in the face of life’s crossroads:

• Get as much information as you can about your situation.

You will never find the confidence to make a decision when you don’t ask questions about what you are faced with. Just like any news reporter, ask the 5 W’s: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this leading? Why are you in this situation? These are just some of the possible questions to ask to know more about your situation. This is important. Oftentimes, the reason for indecision is the lack of information about a situation.

• Identify and create options every day.

What options do the situation give you? Sometimes the options are few, but sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that you create your own. Make your creative mind work. From the most simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one at the end of the day. You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make more options if you encounter some difficulty, but make sure that you make the decision yourself in the end.

• Weigh the pros and cons of every option.

Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. In this way, you get more insights about the consequences of the choice you have and the possible outcomes of any decision you make.

• Trust yourself and make that decision.

Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust in yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees and wrong decisions are always in hindsight (and always right for you). So choose… decide… believe that you are choosing the best option at this point in time.
Now that you have made a decision, be ready to face its consequences: good and bad. It may take you to a place of promise or to a land of heartaches. But the important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a passive audience to your own life. Whether it is the right decision or not, only time can tell. But do not regret it whatever the outcome. Instead, learn from it and remember that you always have the chance to make better decisions in the future.

Everyone admires a person with self-confidence. Confidence plays a critical role in every facet of our lives and it is, indeed, one of the most important factors that contribute to our success and happiness.

Self-confident people find it easy to lead others and all great inspirational leaders are known to have high degrees of self-confidence. Such people can easily inspire others to become self-confident.

Peers, superiors, juniors, friends, as well as family all share their secrets with you when you come across as a self-confident person to them. You are able to achieve your goals easily and quickly with self-confidence and people will look upon you for advice, mentoring, or coaching.

Confidence is Neither Magical nor Mystical …
…In fact, self-confidence is a learnt trait which can be easily acquired with correct training and guidance. You can be taught how to be a self-assured and a confident person who is capable and is able to meet life’s challenges full on.

Confidence can be acquired when you are certain about something. That ‘something’ can be a feeling, a prediction, an action, or a deed. When you know for sure that your thoughts and actions are the most effective or the best they can be, then you have acquired confidence.

When you take the first steps towards having confidence in yourself, your thoughts and actions become clearer. You view yourself as a self-confident person; your thoughts and actions are congruent with each other and are usually correct. This, in turn, reinforces your self-confidence in yourself.

In a nutshell, self-confidence is nothing more than an innate faith in your own ability and purpose in life.

People who lack this vital quality of self-confidence either fail or, worse still, they don’t even make a start. They hesitate, they are unsure, and they spend critical moments (or months) in self-doubt and ‘what ifs’.  Negativity and other self-destructive thoughts and action often plague people who lack confidence in themselves.

With confidence in yourself, you can achieve more!
On the other hand, self-confident people are sure about themselves and they move ahead attaining one goal after another. Self confident people are able to take calculated risks and always have the good sense to avoid gambling on life. Self confident people can work far beyond their comfort zones and they enjoy stretching themselves to attain more. Self-confidence urges them to try harder and work towards perfection, and self confident people are also able to bounce back faster from their losses and failures.

Confidence can be displayed in your behavior, your body language, what you say, and how you say it. It is a simple matter of learning the right behavior patterns and thought approaches to life and its challenges.

be your best and be good at it……

Kym

Technorati Tags: Achievers, Confidence, Inspirational, Self-Confident

To see amazing improvements in your personal life and your work place, you need to learn how to develop a positive attitude. Having an optimistic attitude gives you the confidence to take risks, innovate, and communicate better. People with a positive attitude are usually more productive and they achieve more.

In the reverse, people with a negative attitude tend to blame each other and sense or feel that life is unjust. They are less likely to be accountable, reliable, or productive.

The ABC of Attitudes

What we know about attitudes is that they are judgments that you make that reflect your subjective likes and dislikes.

Attitudes can be either positive or negative, and often, you may see that you can simultaneously have a positive as well as a negative attitude towards a person, an event, a place, or an item.

Your attitudes are a result of the ABC model. Affect, Behavior, and Cognition are the three areas that can impact strongly on your attitude.

A. Affective is your emotional response which builds your attitudes based on your subjective likes and dislikes.

B. Behavior is your tendency to react and behave in a particular manner which also helps shape your attitudes. And finally,

C. Cognition is your intellectual response or evaluation towards a person, place, thing, or happening.

Changing Attitudes

As we can see above, attitudes are formed either due to experiences which you might have gone through in your life or they can be formed as a result of deliberate learning.

In other words, you can learn to change your attitude from a negative or an ambivalent one into a positive ‘can do’ attitude.

Since positive attitudes can be learnt, negative attitudes can also be unlearnt. This means it is possible for you, or anyone else, to negate a negative attitude or to ‘un-learn’ attitudes which prevent you from achieving success.

With the right knowledge and the right training, you to can further develop or redefine your attitudes.

For example, we are all aware that highly successful people possess certain attitudes like perseverance, optimism, curiosity and so on.

The good news is that these attitudes can be learnt and that you can learn them.

William James (US pragmatist, philosopher, and psychologist (1842 – 1910) gave us the clue that attitudes can be changed with his famous quote:

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.”

However, to change your attitudes to life and work, I recommend that you find a good coach to show you the path towards cultivating a positive attitude.

The Power of a Positive Attitude

It is common knowledge that people with a positive attitude are happier, healthier, and they live longer.

People with positive attitudes also have greater inner strength and energy to confront life’s challenges and solve them.

At home or work, their satisfaction levels are usually higher, they are more creative, they handle change better, and they make better leaders.

In addition, people with positive attitudes find greater respect amongst their peers and also have the ability to inspire others towards success.

So, join with me and choose to be inspirational – learn to have a positive attitude and lead yourself and other people towards greater enjoyment and happiness.

Be your best and be good at it…

Kym

Technorati Tags: Attitude, Behaviour, Emotions, Intellectual Response