Archive for January, 2011

A person with good emotional resilience is a strong, confident person who recognises and accepts emotions, but is never ruled by them. With good emotional resilience we can deal with the heartbreaks and sorrows of the world with a certain balance that allows us to accept the situation without being harmed too greatly by it.

Picture the typical teenager, on being told by her first, and in her mind greatest, love that their relationship is over. They will be heartbroken. In a pit of despair. There are tears, recriminations, shouting, yellowing, crying and sobbing… and it might go on for days or even weeks..

This teenager is not coping well. But that’s OK, they’re an adolescent and that’s what they do. When an adult, with adult responsibilities and commitments still acts in the same manner it can become a problem. Of course emotions of sadness, betrayal, grief and so on will always exist to some extent, but it’s important that they are kept at a level which still allows us to function successfully in society.

A good level of emotional resilience will allow us to deal with issues such as heartbreak, betrayal or the death of someone we care about without either collapsing into a heap of inconsolable non-functional misery or, on the other hand, turning into an emotion free automaton without any recognisable signs of upset.

Emotional resilience is, therefore, about balance. It’s about accepting and embracing our emotions without being controlled by them. In times of upset we still have to function. We still have to meet our personal commitments, our financial commitments and our work commitments. We need to function, and we can only do this if we’re emotionally resilient enough to do so.

An appropriate level of emotional resilience is therefore vital if we are to be successful
in life without having to “put it on pause” every time our emotions are upset, no matter
the cause.

How important is your attitude to your success in life?

This is what Charles R Swindoll (American writer & clergyman) wrote on the subject of attitude:

“The longer I live, the more I realise the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge or our Attitudes.”

To answer the above question, I would agree with Charles that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how how I react to it. We are in charge of our attitudes.

How did you answer the question?