A person with good emotional resilience is a strong, confident person who recognises and accepts emotions, but is never ruled by them. With good emotional resilience we can deal with the heartbreaks and sorrows of the world with a certain balance that allows us to accept the situation without being harmed too greatly by it.

Picture the typical teenager, on being told by her first, and in her mind greatest, love that their relationship is over. They will be heartbroken. In a pit of despair. There are tears, recriminations, shouting, yellowing, crying and sobbing… and it might go on for days or even weeks..

This teenager is not coping well. But that’s OK, they’re an adolescent and that’s what they do. When an adult, with adult responsibilities and commitments still acts in the same manner it can become a problem. Of course emotions of sadness, betrayal, grief and so on will always exist to some extent, but it’s important that they are kept at a level which still allows us to function successfully in society.

A good level of emotional resilience will allow us to deal with issues such as heartbreak, betrayal or the death of someone we care about without either collapsing into a heap of inconsolable non-functional misery or, on the other hand, turning into an emotion free automaton without any recognisable signs of upset.

Emotional resilience is, therefore, about balance. It’s about accepting and embracing our emotions without being controlled by them. In times of upset we still have to function. We still have to meet our personal commitments, our financial commitments and our work commitments. We need to function, and we can only do this if we’re emotionally resilient enough to do so.

An appropriate level of emotional resilience is therefore vital if we are to be successful
in life without having to “put it on pause” every time our emotions are upset, no matter
the cause.